Wow. Where did January go to man? It didn’t leave any trace behind!
Let alone a normal young adult like me.
Am still stuck in the office, and days like today make me re-think my decision to take up this job in the past. Although it seems a bit late to say this- but maybe I’m just not cut out for this job.
I don’t have the detail eye, I’m not a perfectionist, I’m not smart. And I can go on about my low self-esteemism right now but I think the idea is there plain and simple.
Human err. And well, even Howie Day agree that even the best fall down sometimes. Haven’t you made a mistake that you regret dearly?
A second chance for me again, pretty please? [just so you know, this may not be referring to the above paragraphs.]
I’m supposed to be surfing through unis in Singapore, my options, tuition fees, study loans, courses that sparked my interest, application dates, closing dates, OPEN houses.. etc etc.
But By left.. here I am, blogging about this. Because I’m feeling this sense of insecurity. I’m insecure about my results, and my available or rather, lack thereof options. It’s so ironic that the gahmen is encouraging every Singaporean to study until you grow old, but the are a mean bitch when it comes to poly students being able to get into the courses they want. Getting a gpa of 3.5 and above is a golden ticket to get into unis, but what about those who fall just a few points short? They will be coined as “those who cannot make it to local Unis” and end up in private Us. I’m not saying private Us are bad. But how can society deem people who study in private Us as CMI people?
After 3 years of study in a language-based course, I can tell you that getting a GPA of 3.5 is hard. Because language is subjective, something like arts, so I think that there should be some form of exceptions, maybe in non-academic wise, or maybe they can don’t look at cumulative subjects, but rather on relevant courses that the student has excelled in. Wouldn’t that be more fair?
Anyway.. by right.. with my gpa of almost 3.2, I should just apply to private U. But I’m going left this year.
*Fingers crossed.
it takes time to form a friendship,
it takes 2 hands to form a relationship
and it takes time to forget someone
and it takes time to heal wounds.
2009 had been helluva ride, what with bye to production, stupid ntu’s miscomm and jobless months , my first surgery for appendicitis, 21st birthday celebration, retail asst job, current job and the months when reality hit hard on my face to treat this someone who had been my punching bag better. He who suffered massive and countless blows was tattered and torn, and instead of fixing these wounds, I just continue to inflict deeper and painful wounds until one day, it reached its breaking point.
And that’s when i realise… shit. Who can I turn to from now?
But I was blessed, for there were people around me to help soften my blow and the few who came round to help make my life better. Loads of grateful thanks to you, you and you. I really don’t know how I’ll come round without you guys. :)
And needless to say, we’re happier than before and treasure one another more as well.
It takes some time before i could get used to my current job too, and I’m really glad to have known all the sporting and crazy colleagues in Crush! :)
I also managed to meet the girls- phy, jing and xiu slightly more often than previous year. Haha. The Christmas exchange and pizza at Modesto’s were fun! More to come kay.
And the snooobs- although prata sessions kinda decreased slightlly last year, hopefully this year we can catch up more often. And hopefully Diana can join us more often as well. Heh.
More mac-d suppers with Lee as well! Your beef burger’s here again! Haha
saturday mornings now become a weekly routine where rei and i will meet up and just catchup. chill in some coffeeshops and just chat the morning away. :D
So… This year I only have one resolution. To treat my friends, family, boyfriend better. I’m sorry for always being MIA but sometimes I’m nearer than you think i am! :p
And so I’ll try to make more time to meet up with friends, tryyy to go home early for mummy’s soups and to be a better girlfriend to bape.
Also, before i end, here’s Shooooo to all the bad things that happened last year and positive things to come this year- not just events, attitude as well. :)
2010, here I come.
My ultimate ultimate fantasy of spending this festive season is a snowy white Christmas. That would be so wonderful, making snow angels and throwing fists of snowballs at each other or poking tree branches and carrots into a snowman.
But over here… The weather’s not as sunny as before, lots of snowman in sight, but none made from snow, and kids throwing candy canes at each other.
Anyways, it is still kinda amazing to think back on this festive period. The ups and downs, ins and outs. So here’s how I spent Christmukkah, not in chronological order:
There’s no better way to describe how I felt this morning than this-
iknowhatyouwore
This space has been dead for about a month now. :P And truth to be told, I’ve been really really busy. With work, with life, with family, friends and with this whole growing up phase in my life.
I still can’t really believe I’m a full-blown adult, working to earn her pennies and contributing to the family. On top of that, I need to find time to be myself. It sounds quite ironic, a girl who has reached 21, still seeking her true self. But well, I believe we need a lot of challenges and obstacles to mould us into adulthood. Right now, I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.
***
I never expected to attend a funeral at my age, to a demise of an ex-classmate in my secondary school days. This harsh reality hit me, that life can be really unexpected sometimes. Suddenly the grudges, the hatred (okay too harsh) the animosity disappeared in me. I can’t make everyone like me, but I can try to maintain the friendships I forged all these years. So treasure all your loved ones, my friends. :)
So here I am, blogging away while the bf snore away in his deep slumber.
He had a rough week, with the endless training for Remembrance Day (taking place tomorrow) and just when I thought I can abuse the laptop for the weekend, it broke down. YET AGAIN.
This is like the 3rd time my laptop’s breaking down in 2 years. And the amount I’ve spent repairing it could have been used to buy a netbook. Sigh. ’nuff said.
Anyway, it was major shopping over the weekend, and I spent like $150 in Ion. But good thing is, they are all good buys ‘cos considering the kind of clothes Far East stalls are selling, I rather save all and spend one shot in BKK. Oh sweet Suan Lum Night bazaar and PM…
I really miss BKK. Sigh hopefully I can save up enough for a shopping trip next year! Reina, are you reading this?!?! :P
2 weeks flew by in a flash and I just got my pay. Woohoo.
I drowned in a sea of love yesterday.
Random entry, random me. Have a good weekend y’all.
21. Loves art, photography, fashion, good food, music and rugby. Her life philosophy is 'One life, live it.' 
